Letting Go: The Parent/Teacher Conference
Tomorrow, Marc is going to T's very first parent/teacher conference - and I'm not. This simple act is a loaded lesson in letting go for me. For some reason, I've been the parent to attend all of M's conferences in preschool, and we both went to her first Kindergarten conference last November. But here I am, missing out on my sweet T's milestone.
What will the teacher think? What will I miss? Will T think I don't care? When I write these questions down here, I see how silly they are. But at the same time, I see the power of societal messages about mothers' responsibilities and the impact of maternal gatekeeping on squashing a life of equally shared parenting.
Of course Marc gets a turn to be our child's representative parent at a teacher conference. Beyond any doubt, I know that T won't take my absence as a sign I don't care - he's not even 3 years old, for starters. And if I live for how the preschool teacher will judge me, I'm a weak mother indeed. That leaves "what will I miss." I'll have to pump Marc for scoop - and I will.