Mother vs Father? No Thanks!
The Telegraph, a British newspaper, published a duet of articles yesterday and today about its version of the Daddy Wars - the one that pits mothers against fathers to see who will win the role of primary parent. Pathetic! This is probably my least favorite definition of Daddy Wars, a term that I'd be pleased to never hear again.
The theory in these two brief articles is that men are battling it out with women to get the most hugs from their children. In increasing numbers, they supposedly seek to replace their children's mother as the alpha parent - to shatter the sacrosanct mother/child bond. You probably know what I think of the sanctity of this bond anyway, so you can guess that I don't take kindly to men groveling for it any more than I appreciate women doing so. If I have to put a positive spin on this so-called trend, I'd say it is that men are challenging women to give up their hold on primary parenting. But let's not lose focus....
British parents: Please remember that being your child's mother or father should be about raising your child, not about completing yourself. This should not be a contest. It should be a lovefest in which we happily and joyfully give our children deep relationships with both their parents - and celebrate our partner's closeness with them. It's a little something we call equally shared parenting.
posted by Amy @ 7:43 PM
1 Comments:
I've actually seen this kind of tension before in my sister's family. They owned up to it, though, and dealt with it through good communication.
I think women can find it difficult to "buck" that image of mom being there first and foremost for the kids. I'm still having a hard time saying, "DH is enough primary parent. Be involved, but focus on your paid work."
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