You Go First
Time for an ESP reader tip! This one comes from our Real Life Story writers, Gail and Lyn, who shared it with us when we first met them - and illustrates how they navigate the world of traditional expectations as an ESP couple.
Gail and Lyn are lesbian parents of a young daughter. In typical fashion, it is Gail (biological mother) who is asked about their baby when the family is at social gatherings - how she's eating, sleeping, acting these days - while Lyn is somewhat ignored. When this happens, Gail makes it a habit to look at Lyn and respond with, "You go first." Lyn is then able to reply to the inquirer with up-to-the-minute details of their daughter's development and activities.
Gail's sweet yet meaningful gesture reminds strangers that she and Lyn are equal parents. Give it a try next time someone looks only to Mom for the answers to childraising questions!
posted by Amy @ 7:15 PM
2 Comments:
It is a good trick, and after repeated application it is usually no longer necessary! We also apply it sometimes in either direction (i.e. whoever doesn't have the kid answers the questions) to make sure that we are seen as a family unit when we meet new people, though this is probably less of a concern for straight families.
Lyn,
I'm glad you found your trick written up here! :-) We loved it when you described it, and yes - I do believe you said the person not holding a baby gets to answer first. Hope to get lots more tips from you two even now that 'baby' is no longer an applicable term for your daughter!
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