Bursting at the Seams
We feel as if we could type solidly for the next month and still not get all our thoughts into the blogosphere. It's a good feeling, actually - the same one we had when we were creating our original How It Works essays.
Our thoughts are coming from the comments posted on the online NY Times piece, particularly the naysayer comments. And from spin-off blog posts and news articles and personal emails/posts that are reacting to the NY Times. A lot of it is good - other ESP couples happy that this lifestyle is finally getting good exposure and not-yet-ESP couples and individuals who feel that the discussion gives them hope for the lives they want someday. It feels wonderful to hear from and read about these kindred souls.
A lot of the discussion is negative too. This is expected - and actually necessary for growth and understanding. Much of the negativity is coming from male readers (hmmm....) and some of the common themes are:
- ESP is all about nitpicky, childish scorekeeping; if two people really love each other, they don't need to bicker about who is doing more and who is doing less
- ESP is nothing new; everyone is already doing it
- ESP is bad for the children, and all about selfish parents choosing the lives they want without regard to the needs of their children
- ESP is only for rich people
- ESP is about mediocrity
- ESP is about splitting every task
- ESP requires both parents to work part-time, and therefore is not possible with most jobs
The good news is that we've heard all of these concerns before, and then some - many have been addressed in our previous blog posts or essays. The excellent news is that so many people are talking about it. For people who don't practice ESP, and especially for couples who would never want to practice ESP, these are fully legitimate concerns.
Stay tuned (and join in) as we dissect each of these viewpoints and more....
posted by Amy @ 7:40 PM
2 Comments:
I am thrilled to see Equally Shared Parenting so big in the public discourse right now! It was particularly fun to have such a window into your lives, Amy and Marc, after reading so many of your thoughts and experiences. Thanks for sharing in that way.
I am both excited and surprised by the comments about ESP on the NYT article. While the appreciation by so many who share similar parenting goals and lifestyles makes perfect sense, the animosity is unexpected. I can't help but believe that somewhere in their reading those people misunderstood the life. Or maybe it's just about making it clear that all that any of us who choose this life want with this public conversation is to invite others who aspire to live this way into the fold. I want to say, "You can do this. And it IS lovely. If you do the sometimes complex work of creating the schedule and having the conversations and recalibrating regularly, I know you will be pleased - indeed, feel fabulous - about your parenting and marriage life." So, I'll just say that. And let's keep having this talk. It's new now, but new stuff gets familiar all the time. Let's make it familiar so those who want to choose it will have the resources, support and feel they can.
Still reading the article, from links sent by several friends -- tells you what my attention span is these days -- haven't even gotten to the comments, good or bad, but what an awesome piece so far.
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