ESP for Men?
Over the last couple of years we have received numerous questions about ESP both from our personal lives and through this website. Previously, we posted answers to these questions through a now defunct section of the website called Question of the Week. We are going to revisit some of these questions in the coming weeks as a way to address a few common themes.
This equal thing is all well and good, but come on...isn't it just a way to get guys to do more housework and change more diapers? I'm a very involved dad but I have no interest in more chores. What would make a guy want to subscribe to this way of life?
I expect that this question would be foremost on a guy's mind when he first hits this website, and I've even had friends jokingly say 'Shhh...don't tell my wife about this - you'll ruin it for the rest of us'. But believe me, if anything, it was ME driving the equality thing rather than Amy from the very beginning, because it is good for my own balance and happiness. For me, this is not about feminism or fairness (although I'm certainly not against those).
Trying to convince you to equally share is fruitless. I don't want to be in that business, and a man who begrudges this option will not be successful in making it work. That said, in choosing to equally share with Amy, I get a lot in return. I get:
- A happy wife
- Guilt-free recreation time for myself
- Less stress by not being the family's only breadwinner
- Even more closeness with my kids
- Being appreciated, not nagged, for the work I do around the house
So for all those guys whose gut reaction is fear that their wives will see this website, there is a huge flip side to doing more dishes or laundry. There are even big reasons why our wives wouldn't want anything to do with equal sharing - things like having to let go of full control of the kids and the house, or having to be out in the working world for decades like men. On the surface, these reactions of ours and theirs can seem justified, but the rewards for reaching equality are so much greater for both parents.