Some of my favorite emails these days are ones from young, unmarried, childless, often completely unattached women. Women who can't imagine having children with someone who would be less than an equal partner, but who have been beaten down in their idealism for thinking they could find a man who would want this too. The discussion of ESP in the NY Times has resonated in their souls, and they have wandered over to this website in search of hope.
I am here to proclaim that their dreams can rest on far more than hope. I, too, had this dream, and I'm extremely thankful I didn't settle for a partner who didn't share it. Judging from some of my previous partner-contenders, I narrowly escaped a life of traditional household burden and full childraising responsibility (however joyful children are, for those who bristle at the thought that a mother might actually say her children are burdensome). But through a combination of luck and something like "it had to be this way," I found a guy who not only shares my desire for an equal partnership, but would have refused to marry me and create children with me if I felt otherwise.
I am not the luckiest woman on Earth, and Marc is not a saint. There are solid reasons why ESP appeals to both of us and is in fact the only way we can fathom to live. In a nutshell, ESP gives us two coveted possessions: Equality and Balance. More than any worldly riches, I want an equal partner to walk through life with, and Marc wants a balanced life with breathing room for fun and joy. And these qualities are what the majority of young women and men say they want, according to statistics from leading sociologists studying Generation Y and as evidenced by the many emails we've received from men and women in this age group.
So, to all the young women (and men) out there hoping that their someday-partners will accept and embrace their dream of ESP, I say you are in good company. Your pool of mates is ever widening, and you are a prize catch. Hold out for someone who shares your vision, and who doesn't have to be convinced of its merits, and together you can forge the right path for you.