We're All Equal
We speak often about how ESP parents are equal partners. But really, aren't all parents who raise their kids together considered equals? Of course they are. We all are. A traditional breadwinner father is dedicated to supporting his kids, providing money for the lifestyle he feels will be best for his family while his stay-at-home wife handles the homefront. Certainly these are two equal individuals, both playing vital roles in raising their kids - they just happen to be using the 'divide and conquer' strategy. We certainly want to promote the truth that nurturing children is equally important to any career!
So what's the deal with 'equality' and 'equally shared parenting' then? When a couple chooses ESP rather than a traditional (or semi-traditional) family arrangement, they are making the decision to equally share each domain or sphere of their lives. They aim for about equal time spent on breadwinning, with neither having the more important career. They each spend about the same amount of taking care of the home, with neither directing or reminding the other of what needs to be done. They each enjoy about the same amount of 'solo parenting' time, with neither acting as the primary parent. And they each spend about the same amount of time on recreational (non-child related) activities - time for self, hobbies, friends, etc.
ESP is a relationship model. Equality, on the other hand, is a judgment. In choosing between ESP or any other family model, there is no right or wrong. We're all equally worthy as parents and humans. ESP is just the way that some of us choose to structure our lives.