Equally Shared Parenting - Half the Work ... All the Fun

 Subscribe in a reader

Here's where we keep you updated on news about parenting as it relates to division of responsibilities, career versus home decisions, work/life balance, and legislative and grass-roots movements toward equality or better choices for families. We'll also throw in our opinions of life as equal parents in a nonequal world, regardless of what's in the news.

Add to Technorati Favorites

Equality Blog

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Angry Wives with a Plan

If you recall, Parenting Magazine published a piece in January called Mad at Dad. They did a good job riling up the masses of women who are fed up with their lives in large part because they feel burdened with the roles of primary parent, homemaker, and often co-breadwinner as well. I have to admit that this would get me mad as well. At the time, we blogged about this piece with some suggestions for moms.

Since then, Parenting Magazine has garnered their own advice for moms to get past the anger. We were honored to toss in our opinions and really like the resulting piece released this week. Here are a couple points from some of our favorite mentors:

"First, recognize that equality is an attainable goal," says Francine M. Deutsch.

"You want to feel like you're solving things together instead of having dump-on-Dad time," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.

Luckily, we don't sound too shabby either:

"Involve your husband as your partner, not your employee. Ultimately, this is a gift to your children," says Marc Vachon. "Moms and dads are different, but they both need to be equally valued," he says.

"The more you can build the sharing into your schedule, the less it becomes a contentious issue," says Amy Vachon

Hopefully, this will get people focusing on the solutions instead of the problem.


Blogger Jaime said...

I feel that anger sometimes too, a piece on you (i believe in the nytimes about a year ago) was actually a starting point for my husband and i getting our act together and cooperatively taking responsibility for raising our daughter as a team. i am really looking forward to your book and wanted to say thanks!

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Dennis said...

It's a good article but they still miss a key point. There was this comment:

"It's a tough world out there for moms. We're surrounded by Judgy McJudgersons who jump down our throats if our kids have a meltdown in the cereal aisle, and if the thank-you notes don't get written, we're the ones who are viewed as disorganized -- not our husbands."

But women are the ones who are doing the judging! If women don't want to be judged on their parenting and household management, then just stop judging each other. It's really pretty simple.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous ChildCustody Coach said...

Dennis, You have a very valid point. What really got a lot of fathers though is that, how would mothers react if a magazine did an article about how Dads are made at Mom? The media continues to feed into the problems rather than focusing on the positives that are happening. We see too much focus on everything Mom does, while still calling Dads deadbeats, despite the facts that more Mothers are behind on child support than Fathers as a percentage. Sorry, tangent, lol. We need shared parenting laws passed in every state, and we need more Mothers to step up to the plate and LET Dad be a father. There is a new book out about the "Superior Wife Syndrome", ugh, it makes me wants to rip my hair out. Anyway, thanks for working towards shared parenting!

6:23 PM  
Blogger JohnMcG said...

Ugh -- the premise of that book does look terrible.

I wonder, though, if the only way some people will respond positively to advice is if it's presented in terms of, "how to prevent your complete awesomeness and your spouse's complete suckitude from destroying your marriage."

Interesting also that the "quiz" on the website has nothing about tasks that typically fall to men in traditional set-ups -- earning money, home and car mantienance, etc.

It's like Lake Woebegone -- every wife is superior!

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Hostels France said...

Its a great article, husband should be the leader and is responsible for lives of his family. Women should respect and value her husband and as well husband should not hurt his wife. Respect to each other and love one another is the best of all.

10:04 AM  
Blogger ArnoldRandolph said...

Needed to draft you a bit of remark just to say thank you over again about the incredible methods you have documented at this time. This is unbelievably open-handed of you to allow easily what a number of us would have distributed as an electronic book to end up making some money for themselves, and in particular considering that you might have done it if you desired. The points as well served as a good way to recognize that the rest have similar desire like my own to find out a great deal more concerning this matter. I believe there are lots of more enjoyable periods up front for people who find out your blog post.budget accounting services singapore

1:52 PM  
Anonymous Write My Economics Assignment said...

that are difficult to be fulfilled by the students.Write My Economics Assignment this thing better so we aim to provide the custom assignment help for the students.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous professional personal statement writers said...

Oh, guys! I know this is less important than news from Afghanistan but.... if you want to save your money you can use our amazing service for essay writing! They really know how to do it! Relax and enjoy!

9:36 AM  
Anonymous writing a reaction paper said...

Thank you for the article!

6:56 AM  
Blogger Tom said...

Hey guys! If you don't want to waste your money add time! You can use this service for essay and homework! These guys rally can help you, but you should ask them for http://writemypaper.help/ and wait! Good luck

10:11 AM  
Blogger Jakko Bagci said...

Good morning! Our company us.masterpapers.com have a flexible working policy, allowing clients to request any service. Writing a term paper can vary in different phases; whether you want a full essay, a term paper cover page or a particular chapter, ensure that you indicate while ordering your work.

3:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Powered by Blogger

  Home · What is Equally Shared Parenting? · How It Works · ESP The Book · Equality Blog · In the News · Toolbox · Real Life Stories · Contact Marc and Amy · Resources
All Contents ©2006-2010 Marc and Amy Vachon