Equally Shared Parenting - Half the Work ... All the Fun

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Here's where we keep you updated on news about parenting as it relates to division of responsibilities, career versus home decisions, work/life balance, and legislative and grass-roots movements toward equality or better choices for families. We'll also throw in our opinions of life as equal parents in a nonequal world, regardless of what's in the news.

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Equality Blog

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

From HuffPo to Ireland

We're excited to share that we made our debut yesterday as bloggers for The Huffington Post.  Our first post there tackles the issue of "fairness" as a point of argument for sharing the chores.  For decades - make that centuries, surely - women have been arguing that they handle an unfair burden at home and caring for the kids (nevermind snagging an unfair portion of the joy to be had in each of these domains).  And it's true.  But where do all these logical arguments get us?  Usually mad at each other, or at best they let us reach equitable sharing by mild coercion - usually not a sustainable or happy state for either partner.  With ESP couples, a different strategy is at work.  Check out our post and let us know what you think!

And across the Atlantic, The Irish Times is covering the ESP life.  First, in this article by journalist Sheila Wayman, based on interviews with Marc and myself.  Sheila does a really nice job of pointing out some of the key underlying philosophies of equal sharing.  The article is then paired with a look at two Irish couples.  The Mansergh/Wrides rate themselves pretty equal in household chores and caring for the kids, but less so in breadwinning - here they succumb to traditional logic and value the career with the most stability and money-making power (his).  They understand this trap, however, which is the first step to courageously choosing otherwise if they do decide later on that equal breadwinning is a positive goal for their relationship.  The other featured couple, the Carens, could easily write one of our Real Life Stories (wouldn't that be great if they contacted us to do so!).  Instead of settling for the gendered approach to breadwinning (meaning inequality), they "radically reshaped their breadwinning after the birth of their first child."  Their solution was to become entrepreneurs, a common option for ESP couples (although certainly not the only way to equalize breadwinning).  Their family income has dropped, but they consider the sacrifice well worth the time they can spend together as a family.  We're willing to bet they are happier now than when they made more money - a classic "time over money" theme for ESP couples.  Go, Carens!


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